I woke up this morning, feeling like I’d been kicked all over, indicating that I was more tense about yesterday than I’d realised. I think it was because I’d been forewarned that there’d been a misunderstanding with regard to the publicity material and it hadn’t been displayed - this meant that there were fewer people than anticipated. I worried that no-one would turn up. I worried that people would show up, but that I would get tongue-tied and have nothing to say. Let’s just say I worried, and I needn’t have as everyone was very gentle with me! I think that there were eight of us in total, and I felt very comfortable with the group. I hope that I didn’t waffle. Its such a novelty for me to actually talk, rather than type, and I have a tendency to go off on a tangent without the use of my delete key to get me back on track!

Mind the generation gap! Doing another talk for the libraries service made me think back to the last one I did. My book was not aimed at, but written for, my own peer group. It became clear that the content would not appeal to all age-groups (with exceptions) following the book club at a local library. One person said that she enjoyed the book but felt uncomfortable with some of the terminology I used in a particular scene, which I fully understood - it’s one of the reasons why I begged my grandma not to read it!!! I am not a prude, but personally felt extensive swearing in a Jane Green book I read was a bit off-putting. I knew that was my problem, and that to many others it would be perfectly acceptable. This made me realise that I should extend the range of books I read, rather than just those I assume are targetted at my age group. Am hoping to get hold of Another Time, Another Place by Sam Grosser (another debut author I’ve met online). Her novel is set in WWII and is not my usual choice of theme.

Off topic, I have just purchased four tickets to see the Silver Bells Christmas Show at the Journal Tyne Theatre (beautiful building) and was shocked to find that I was charged an additional £1.95 PER TICKET in fees and then a further £1.90 for them to allow me to print my own ticket (using my time, my equipment, my electricity, my ink and my paper). Doesn’t sound much but buying the tickets cost me £48…with fees, it was almost £58. I didn’t care what the tickets themeselves cost, as it’s for charity, but Ticketmaster is certainly not charitable. Boo! Hiss!

This is just an information-giving post, for the people who were kind enough to join me at Borders yesterday evening (a post about the event will follow soon). I mentioned several websites that I have found both useful and entertaining, and I also remembered what those very short stories are called: Flash Fiction! It came to me just before I went to sleep last night.

Anyway, here are some links for you: www.youwriteon.com (a FREE site to help new writers develop. It’s sponsored by the Arts Council); www.writewords.org.uk (an online writing community, for which there is a membership fee after a trial period); www.societyofauthors.net (a non-profit making organisation, but there is a membership fee and certain criteria which needs to be met. Some interesting leaflets available from the SOA on all kinds of writing-related matters).

I also mentioned my publisher, Bookforce (www.bookforce.co.uk) and their competition for new authors, Undiscovered Authors. Look at the site www.discoveredauthors.co.uk and you’ll see a link to the next UA Competition. I also mentioned a site called Literature Northeast (www.literaturenortheast.co.uk), which not only gives information on literary events in the Northeast, but also showcases regional writers. Speaking of regional writers, I mentioned being honoured to be asked to read Rod Glenn’s book before it’s publication this December - his website can be found at www.rodglenn.com

Finally, for now, I also mentioned author Mary Castillo talking about how valuable she found The Observation Deck by Naomi Epel. The OD can be purchased here (www.amazon.co.uk) and is currently available for £8.69…or you could ask at your local library!

If there is anything I’ve forgotten, please don’t hesitate to contact me via my email address or using the Contact Me form on my website. It was lovely to have met you all, and best of luck with the competition: Once Upon A Time… Had to give the short story competition a mention, as that was the reason behind yesterday’s event!

Imagine this hypothetical scenario (and it’s SO unlikely, that’s all it will ever be):

Holly (trying to imitate Christina Aguilera, but sounding more like a constipated budgie): #You are beautiful, no matter what they say. Words can’t bring you down…#
Simon Cowell (one eyebrow raised): “STOP! That was terrible. Who told you that you could sing?”
Holly (pouting and on the verge of tears): “Well…my family and friends said I could sing, and that I could make a living as a singer. They always say they enjoy it…”
Simon: “They’ve done you no favours. You’re deluding yourself. Go away and do something else.”
END.

Do you see what I did there? I’m trying to explain how that ‘review’ made me feel. Basically, the fact that it used the words ‘badly written’ suggested that the book was terrible, and that all the great comments I had were purely kind words to bolster my confidence. Just like the words some of the families of X-Factor auditionees must have used to encourage their children to pursue a dream (even if said auditionees are not musically inclined or gifted… ) Undue praise is sweet, but misguided - I respect Simon Cowell for his honesty, and also anyone who is brave enough to offer criticism, despite the fact it may offend.

Consider this, though: if you just tell a child that they are “bad”, then that child will not understand why they are bad, or what they did that was wrong - how could a child learn from this? In the same way, if you tell a writer that they are bad, but do not elaborate or offer suggestions as to how they can improve their writing, then what is the point of making a public critique of their work?

Anyway, I’m feeling much better now, thanks to all the kind comments and pep talks I’ve been sent! Oh, and a new hair colour too (I’m like a chameleon, changing colour when threatened). Also found out that the thing at Borders on Tuesday is far less formal than I’d anticipated. It takes place in Starbucks, and is basically a chat over a coffee - that’s why the numbers were limited, I guess. I’m going out on a limb and thinking that the weather will put off some people, so if you’re attending, you may find there’s just the two of us, chatting about the aforementioned weather! Don’t be put off if you haven’t booked but still want to come along - I’m sure we can find an extra chair or two!

Its amazing what you can find out on the internet…and how it can affect you. I was very bored this evening and took a look around some forums I like to read. I must tell you that I came across quite a damning condemnation of my book. Why am I sharing this? Because it upset me (to tears, as I’m that thin-skinned) - not because it was criticism, but because it was unconstructive, judgmental and implied that the content was asinine/childish.

Reading things like this just makes me wish I hadn’t bothered writing the darn thing. This, combined with the dismissive attitude of others connected with the book, makes me wish I’d just wrote to occupy myself, like always. In fact, this is enough to completely demoralise me and has sucked the fun out of this escapade.

I’ve REALLY enjoyed being Holly during 2007. It gave me a chance to escape from my real life for a while, and I appreciate that opportunity. I’ve met more nice people this year than I have in a long time, so I’m happy about that. However, I never expected merely winning a competition would open me up to public ridicule - I told you I didn’t have a clue how the publishing business worked!!! Silly me.

It’s times like this when I really miss kick-boxing, as it’s great for releasing tension. Contact me if you want the link, so you can read it yourself…

EDIT: ‘That’ site has been updated, and it’s obvious that the people concerned know what I’ve said. Some PMs have been sent, reading between the lines. Well ladies, I’m looking forward to reading your books, when they’re released, and I promise I won’t let how I feel influence my review.