…which is mightier than the sword. I would say that it depends on the circumstance. In an armed combat scenario, I’d far rather be wielding a rather large sword than a Bic biro. In that instance, the sword is mightier than the pen. However, should I be signing a peace treaty or something similar, then indeed the pen would be mightier (and considerably more useful) than the sword. For my own purposes, I find that the laptop is far mightier than the pen, so consequently, mighter than the sword also.

Why am I waffling? Well, book two (working title, “Look Who’s Stalking”) is coming together quite nicely in my head. The problem is getting the words down in print - I’m desperate to get started to take my mind off feeling ill and being unable to speak. I absolutely love to write on paper (my favourite pen is a ballpoint Parker Jotter, fact fans) but in book-writing terms, it’s hugely impractical for anything except rough notes. It’s far easier to manipulate the words using a laptop, and less laborious. The only drawback is that the laptop is big, heavy, bright and though billed as portable, I find it’s hard to port it off my knee, never mind anywhere else!!!

So, I’m on the horns of a dilemma - do I surround myself with pieces of scrumpled up paper I have written and then binned (ie edited) or do I wait until I’m well enough to spend some quality time on the mighty laptop? I opt for the former, fearing ideas will disappear into the wilderness that is my memory if I don’t consign them to paper.

Another thing I want to mention is MySpace. I just don’t get it. Does this mean I’m old and past it? I have had a MySpace account under my name for a while, but only have about 5 friends (not real friends, but people like Linkin Park, Simon Cowell, Discovered Authors). I don’t feel it is as user-friendly as Facebook (which I find incredibly easy to use) and can’t understand the fascination with it. The only quarrel I have with Facebook is that there are about a million (slight over-exaggeration) Jeremy Clarksons, all ‘real’ - has he had himself cloned in a bid to take over the world? In cyber space, do we ever know what/who is real???

This is the ‘funny’ I was emailed - it’s meant to be a joke, but I think it may be true!!!

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years –canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat’s bum. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don’t.
2. If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture (tThat’s why they call it fur-niture.)
3. To you, it’s an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn’t speak clearly.

Or is it? I’ve finally succumbed to the throat thingy that my husband had throughout Christmas. I admit to thinking he was exaggerating at the time, but I may have been wrong. OK, I was wrong, as it’s very unpleasant. I thought I was a fairly quiet person, but it turns out I relied on my voice quite a lot, and am incredibly frustrated without it. Couldn’t sing along to ‘The One And Only’ after pressing the red button to see the sing-a-long words; couldn’t comment on programmes/adverts/news stories - you get the picture? Maybe that was a good thing.

Fortunately, I speak a little BSL (British Sign Language) that I learned at school, as a member of the SVP (a voluntary organisation which helped others in the community…and allowed us to get on first lunches). I had the foresight to teach this to my husband and we’re getting by using a system of basic signing and written notes (though I keep annoying him by losing my pen). What I can’t do, however, is use the telephone and people are finding this very annoying, for some reason. So if you call me and I can’t talk, I’m not shunning you, I’m signing frantically at hubby, trying to get my message across. There’s an ongoing, bizaare game of charades in this house.

So, I’ve been sitting here , in pyjamas, scarf wrapped around my throat, feeling like everyone hates me but it triggered an idea for book two, so it isn’t all bad. If only I could write it instead of thinking about it!

Still no response from my publisher (or their accountant lady) but my Counselling leader said I don’t have to forfeit. Just wish I was well enough to get back to some semblence of reality.

I’m going to leave you with something funny I was sent by my youngest dog’s brother’s mam (?!), but I’ll post it separately under the title ‘Pet Rules’.

Hello! Firstly, I apologise to those of you who’ve emailed me and I haven’t replied: I’m right in the middle of a CFS relapse, and not online much. I feel terribly guilty about letting people down, but it can’t be helped. Here’s a mini update.

That horrible day I was dreading (21st January) has passed and, whilst things didn’t go completely our way, we can hopefully close that bad chapter. Thanks to everyone who’s been in touch and sent good wishes! My hubby has been offered a job to start in February, so we’re hoping that 2008 is upping it’s game and proving that it’s better than 2007! I (stupidly) thought that once the stressor had been removed, I’d awaken today feeling miraculously better. Alas, it was not to be and I’m still feeling lousy. Still, it took weeks to get me this way, so will maybe take a little while to get me out of it… Gotta hope, remember?!

I have been somewhat of a hermit lately, but I’m pleased to report I actually left the house on Friday (first time since 27th Dec 2007). It was just a trip to my second favourite coffee shop (The Cornmill in Hexham) but at least it was outside. I do worry that I’ll end up becoming agorophobic if I don’t get out and about. I’m a bit concerned that my lack of stamina will prevent me, once again, from going to my counselling thingy - if so, it will probably mean I’m booted out. It’s like school all over again…except that maybe people are a little more understanding of my illness.

I’ve been speaking to some people about the book situation - it seems that we’re all in the same boat. Still waiting to hear from the publisher. Had I not been so poorly, I may have taken further steps, but I just couldn’t be bothered. I heard from the lovely lady (Claire) at Gateshead Libraries with regard to some more readers group talks. These are more like social events, and are lovely to participate in, so I said I’d be delighted. It isn’t until April, so I have plenty of time to pull myself together (I hope!!!)

That’s things in a nutshell. I’m hoping I’ll be well enough to continue with book two soon (can’t sit up for too long at the mo and the computer screen glare is too bright, even on its lowest setting) as there’s only so much text my memory will hold before needing to write it down/forgetting it!