Apologies that I haven’t updated my blog for a while. This was for reasons including the usual ME-related stuff, playing FB Scrabble, but mainly because I’d lost my log-in info and couldn’t remember how to get this sorted out!

A few of you have emailed me to ask about the situation with DA. Without going into too many details, I did hear from the MD several weeks ago. He maintained that I wasn’t entitled to the sum I believe to be correct and I believe he is unhappy that I am expressing my disappointment in a public manner. As you know, I have been patiently contacting them for well over two years now, and am not the type of person to say things that are untrue. I also maintain that every person should make their own decisions, based on the information available to them, so I would never tell people to avoid a company based purely on my experiences. Some authors DO have positive things to say about DA.

Anyhow, I responded to this email and provided evidence of sales figures, etc, and he promised to look into it for me. Electronic communication probably isn’t the best way to do things but I’m terrible on the telephone. This responsibility will be foisted (in a nice way) on to a family member, if it isn’t sorted out soon. I haven’t heard a dicky bird since!

On a sad note, and on the topic of electronic communication, I recently discovered that Jack Pickard (who hosted The Pickards web site) had passed away. We ‘met’ online when I was researching Mike Parr, prior to a radio interview. Jack reviewed my book, and attended a talk I gave at the launch of Gateshead Council’s short story contest. He was also a talented writer and a generally kind person. Unfortunately, I did not find out about his untimely passing (he was only in his mid-thirties) until a month later. That’s the trouble with social networking: when someone disappears - even those we class as friends - we may never know what became of them. The internet gives us a wide circle of friends, but can we ever truly be real friends online?

…must you treat me this way? I don’t agree with airing my issues in public, but don’t want anyone else to have similar problems. As usual, I don’t suggest you shouldn’t use the company, as everyone’s experiences are different: read mine and make your own mind up.

Communications between myself and the company have now dried up. Even the previously email-friendly accounts man has stopped replying to my emails. I finally realised that I can’t be amicable any longer? There is a fine line between exceedingly patient and doormat, and I don’t wish to be the latter.

To refresh your memory, my book was released Feb 07. My first royalty statement was due about 6 months later - it arrived, late, but was never paid. After a certain length of time, my contract stipulated that the rights to the book would revert to me (after contacting the company lots of times). The sum that was not paid was VERY small, so I thought it odd that this wasn’t taken care of. An oversight, I thought. So the rights to the book returned to me in Feb 2008 - the company still sold it. I enquired after royalties and was subsequently sold that I hadn’t sold any books…then that I hadn’t sold the qualifying number of books to get paid that period. I did my own research and contact Nielsen, who confirmed that I had sold books (more than I thought).

Since then, I’ve been trying to get paid. It’s not a lot of money, but there’s a principle at stake here, I think. Any money is good for me, but I can’t understand why a company would refuse to pay such a mediocre (to them) sum? I really want to believe it’s all been an oversight, but when everyone stops replying to my weekly emails, I’m not sure that it is. Why can’t people/companies just play fair?

It’s important to note that I did not self-publish, but was published under a traditional contract, after the Undiscovered Authors competition.

I’m sorry I haven’t been keeping this blog up to date, but I was ill over Christmas. My first priority is to wish you all a happy and healthy 2010.

The thing that’s prompted me to write on here is a poll on the Daily Mail website entitled: Is ME A Genuine Illness? Readers of the site are invited to select Yes or No. I’m not only incensed about the callous poll, but about the caustic comments left by some people following various articles on the topic.

So people don’t understand ME? Neither do we and we suffer the day to day (or hour to hour) effects. Neither do the doctors. Just because we don’t understand something, must we dismiss it as false? I would never be so arrogant.

It was the Press themselves who created this stigma for ME sufferers. It began in the 80s (when I was first diagnosed) and they coined the term Yuppie ‘Flu’. Since then, the Press has continued to paint a negative view of those who have to live with a condition that can neither be treated nor explained. Some of the comments left state that they saw someone from ME doing chores or going shopping. How dare they? I, like many other sufferers, often hide how I am feeling in order to maintain some level of normality. Only close family and my dr saw me at my worst because I don’t WANT people to think of me as fragile or incapable. I still have my pride. 90% of my life is spent at home.

There are always going to be people who abuse the term or are misdiagnosed (and recover miraculously) or self-diagnose; this happens with many conditions. Don’t take it as red that someone who has ME is one of those people who simply doesn’t want to work. Most of the people I know who have the condition have lost a lot: jobs, friends, homes, marriages, social lives, etc. We try to do what we can, when we can DESPITE M.E., rather than use it as an excuse to do nothing.

Someone suggested that ME sufferers just whinge all the time: why would we if there was nothing wrong with us? Touche!

I could rant for ages but, ironically, I’m too tired. I actually had an update about my writing but that will have to wait!

I know I haven’t posted for ages, but I was hoping to do something with this out-of-date website. As you can tell, nothing’s happened with it.

I’ll let you know what’s been happening: I spent a LONG time contributing to an interview that was to be featured in Psychologies magazine in their January 2010 issue (out now). It was all about teenage diaries (like in Karma) and how it felt to re-read them. It was also about how things had changed and what the person you were then would think of the current you. I did a telephone interview and many email follow-ups. It was quite emotionally exhausting to revisit the past, discussin things like my ME/CFS and my enforced changes in career. The journalist told me I the mag would send someone to get my photo (if they wanted one) but lady from Psychologies emailed me to ask about me coming to London for a photoshoot. Obviously, this was out of the question. I explained that it would be a 3.5 hour journey there and a 3.5 hour journey back (that was just the train part of the journey) - I wouldn’t have been able to function at an afternoon photoshoot. They came back to me and said they’d arrange travel for me and there’d be somewhere I could ‘rest’. Still no go, so they relented and said they’d send a photographer and a hair stylist to me. Yay! I wouldn’t miss out!

They said they’d be in touch about the shoot, so I curtailed my activity (basic though it is) so that I could participate fully in the photoshoot. I waited and waited. Eventually, I emailed the journalist, who didn’t even reply to me. A few more weeks went by, and I realised that they probably weren’t going to get in touch. I emailed the Psychologies lady, saying, “Have I been dropped from the article due to my ME/CFS?” The only response were the following words, “Yes. Sorry.” She didn’t even address me by name. It made me feel bitter, as they’d always been aware that I had the condition. Perhaps if they’d even contacted me, so that I wasn’t resting up ALL November…

Speaking of disappointment, I’ve heard a lot of people talking about Gumtree, so when I decided to sell my netbook (barely used it, despite thinking I’d take it everywhere and write every day) I posted an ad. Within a few hours, several people had already decided to try and relieve me of my netbook in a non-legal way. Fortunately, I’m quite savvy to various scams, and didn’t fall for them. However, it has made me very cynical about selling on the internet (ok, MORE cynical).

As for the writing, what writing? A New Year’s resolution? Thought I’d made some progress in getting paid by Discovered Authors (almost 3 years since Karma came out and they still haven’t managed to pay my meagre royalties). It’s now a principle. Would be nice to get it before Christmas, but I have my doubts.