Is it worth it?

That’s the question I’ve been asking myself this past fortnight – is all the energy I’ve been putting into promoting the book really worth it? I am absolutely exhausted, and feeling rather rotten at the moment, so this has given me a unwelcome opportunity to dwell on the things I’ve done and what I’ve achieved by doing them. The answer is, probably very little!

I haven’t said no to any opportunity I’ve been offered, no matter what scale it is or how scary (in the case of the radio shows). I’ve spoken frankly about my illness (which I haven’t really done before) in order to raise awareness (ironically, the need to do so is probably what has put me back to this meagre level of activity). I’ve followed all of the routes open to me from my computer (ie this Blog, my website, participation in forums, etc). I just couldn’t think of one more thing to do to increase sales. I was feeling extremely frustrated and fed up that I couldn’t do more. Then I read this:

And I realised it’s not just me! It’s not because I’m ill and can’t promote my book! The reason for my frustration is that there’s nothing else I CAN do, like most first-time authors, rather than nothing else I’m ABLE to do. That made me feel a little better. I think I’d just hoped for too much, considering that this is my only BIG achievement (although I did finally get round to washing some cutlery this morning…) I think I’ve come to terms with the fact this this isn’t going to be my ‘big break’ and launch a career I can do from my bed/sofa. Sadly.

I wish I had some better news to tell you (like that reporter had got back to me, for example), but maybe next time. Until then, it’s back to the TV…