Down.

Sometimes, you just have to give in to self-pity, and sometimes you need to pull yourself out of it. At the moment, I’m wallowing. I’ll tell you what I’m fed up with, in a Victor Meldrew-style moan: being ill (currently missing out on a trip to Kirkharle), having no money (though hubby has started new job and is loving it so far), uncertainty with regard to book (publisher, grrrr), people on my Facebook FRIENDS list sending me chain emails promising me misfortune, should I fail to send it on (I NEVER send these horrible things on, so send ’em to me and you’re knowingly breaking the chain anyway…), not having a thing to look forward to this year, not being able to attend my counselling course, being lonely (but not being able to use the phone because of my sore throat).

So, on the POSITIVE side, this has given me the excuse to spend the small amount of money I had (70p, actually) on a new download to alter my mood. Do you find that music changes your mood? I find that it can change my mood or emphasise whatever emotion I’m feeling at the time. While I was writing Karma, I listened to mainly 80s music. When I’m feeling down, sometimes I deliberately listen to music that makes me cry – sometimes you just need something to release what you’re feeling to make you feel better. I also find that certain songs give me focus or make me feel stronger. Here are some examples:

Let The River Run by Carly Simon – makes me feel determined. When it was my grandma’s funeral and I had to get up and read the poem I wrote for her, this was what was playing in my head, so that I could get through it without crying (almost). However, Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler makes me cry, because it was played at my grandma’s funeral.

Songs that make me smile include Fill My Little World by The Feeling, Birdhouse In Your Soul by They Might Be Giants (reminds me of school trips), Call Me by Spagna (don’t laugh) and Star Turn on 45 Pints by Star Turn (funny). I even have the theme to Chorlton and the Wheelies on my mp3 player because it makes me laugh!

Empowering songs: Invisible Touch by Genesis, anything by Linkin Park (played loudly but considerately). We used to love to listen to LP while at our kickboxing classes, as their songs turned out to be perfect to accompany kicking and punching things…especially One Step Closer!!!

So, waffling over, what song did I buy? Life is a Highway by Tom Cochrane – seemed appropriate…