Seething (long post warning).

Seething is what I am. It is feeling full of anger but being unable to express it clearly. It is also, incidentally, a small village in Norfolk.

DA have still not bothered to contact me. The longer it goes on, the worse I feel. I don’t really have a hot temper (wastes too much energy) but am certainly not a pushover. This ongoing problem with DA is clouding everything, and I think I am getting irrationally angry about things because of it. For instance, Sky offered me a month’s free movies and sport to add to my package. I am cautious of ‘too good to be true’ offers, but after clarifying that it wouldn’t cost me a penny extra, I went ahead (since I was stuck in the house). Yesterday, I found that, despite cancelling when I was told to, I have been charged for their full package until almost the end of March! I emailed them, and got a reply this morning which completely ignored every point that I raised. I was in a small Norfolk village after reading that, let me tell you! My response was immediate and scathing, although polite, and I wonder if I would have been so quick to get annoyed if it wasn’t for DA’s attitude…

I’m also still entrenched in this CFS relapse, which is not making it easy to write, but is giving me time to be creative. The other morning, I came up with the final chapters of the book I’m sort-of working on and it was not what I’d originally anticipated (it didn’t even involve the characters that I thought it would). I love how the imagination can surprise you!

Because of the virus-related relapse, I’m still missing my counselling group, as I don’t have a lot of social contact (particularly since I can’t even conduct a telephone conversation at the moment). That’s what I find so frustrating about some people’s views that CFS is not a real illness: who would deliberately cut short their career, live on a meagre budget, isolate themselves from friends/family, give up their activities/hobbies if they were not actually ill? It’s quite insulting to have people say, “Well I’m tired as well, but I just have to get on with things,” as though you are just lazy. I’m not.