I don’t like days like these. The days after I’ve been out and I now feel rough, but know I have commitments in the week ahead. I didn’t do anything too energetic or exciting – just a wander round the Metrocentre – but I felt awful and we had to come home. I know that I really need to rest, but I get bored when I can’t do anything. Not that I have a choice…
I had to try and describe CFS to someone last week, and it’s so difficult. If you mention tiredness, people think of a time that they were tired, and try to relate it to that: it isn’t really the same. It’s physical and mental exhaustion, to the point where, sometimes, its to much to even try and hold a conversation. There’s no ‘normal’ day. Each day is different and you have to weigh up whether you should do things when you have a little strength, or whether you should conserve it. Then, if you do do something, you know there’s a real possibility it could confine you to bed for a day or two (sometimes longer). Making plans is a dilemma, as you want to try and live a normal life, but also know there’s a chance you’ll not be able to attend things you’ve agreed to and you’ll feel guilty for letting people down. As a consequence, friends no longer invite you out or you become reclusive and don’t make any arrangements…
Reading this, maybe you’ll understand what a commitment it was to sign up for the abseil, and why I’m not just worried about the abseil itself but also if I’m going to be OK on the day. You’ll also understand why I want to raise money for an ME-related charity. I already have a few sponsors (for which I’m grateful) but am hoping for many more, so if you feel you can afford to sponsor me, then please click on the link to the right of this post. Thanks.