Just over a week to go. Status: Terrified!

Haven’t been well this week, so apologies to those of you who’ve emailed me and haven’t had a response. Whilst in bed nursing my poorly sinuses on Wednesday, I was listening to the UKTV History channel. I love to find out about historic buildings, but on Wednesday, ‘Britain’s Greatest Buildings’ was about the Forth Bridge. They spoke of the people who’d fell to their deaths while building the bridge and also the Tay Bridge Disaster. I know I’ve been catastrophizing about the forthcoming abseil, but I hadn’t realised that bridges could really just fall down. The disaster killed 75 people, I believe, and it’s just one more thing in UK history that I didn’t know about. I feel woefully uneducated (although I could’ve done without seeing that particular programme just before the charity event).

Then, I was innocently searching the internet today, and I came across a forum posting by someone who had already abseiled from the Tyne Bridge for charity. They did extremely well, raising over £1000 (I’m nowhere near that) but posted pictures taken from the top of the bridge to the car park below. It looks far higher than I imagined and my feet are now cold (or possibly sub-zero). Have a look at the photos for yourself – my fears are not irrational! My mam helpfully emotionally blackmailed me, when I told her that I didn’t think I could go through with it. “You’ll let all your M.E. friends down. And the people at the Stroke Association. Remember you’re doing it for your grandma.” I do remember, but it’s not stopping the anxiety attacks and the fear!!!

Speaking of fear, I took my dog to the vet’s today, expecting her to be given another course of tablets. However, the vet has decided to operate on her teeth and x-ray her neck at the same time. She has a heart-murmur and I’m so worried about her. She’s almost 70 by people standards, and she’s been an almost constant companion to me. I think I’m more afraid of something happening to her than I am of heights… That’s saying something!