Creative Writing: week 4

Had reservations about choosing to write a poem for this week’s class – I’m not a poet, but did feel I wanted a challenge. The theme today was ‘returning’, whether it be to a place or a person. Surprisingly, there was very little criticism except that the way the poem reads is a little short and ‘jaunty’, as one would write a comedic verse, rather than slow, lengthy and sombre as the material suggests. I had tried to curb my natural tendency to waffle (and inadvertently moved towards the haiku we’d studied in week one – I hadn’t even noticed this until it was pointed out). It was suggested that I omit some words, or extend some lines. Judge for yourself:

The Bungalow

I return, heavy-hearted.
My grandma, departed.
I sit alone, weeping.
Suddenly, my heart, leaping:
I hear her speaking!
Or was the house creaking?
On my face, I feel a touch…
Or a draft? Thought as much.
Her perfume lingers
like lavender fingers
stroking my senses –
my body tenses:
I catch her reflection!
On closer inspection,
was it a trick of the light
or an angel in flight?