Well, it just had to happen, didn’t it? The people at Best, in their wisdom, used the photo I joked about them using in a previous posting. Yup, they used ‘The Real Me’ (see the Gallery). From today, I am in a national magazine in my pyjamas with no make-up on, surrounded by mess…oh, and I hadn’t even dragged a comb through my hair that day. It was weird having someone else put words in my mouth – it was written from my perspective following a telephone interview. I wish I could write about myself like that (but I’m not good at blowing my own trumpet – can’t even play the recorder), and I feel it was far better than the feature in the Chronicle.

On Monday, I used the secret signing at Borders (Gateshead) as an excuse to buy some new shoes (got a sale bargain to go with my dress that cost a tenner), so at least something good has come out of it. I was worried that the promo leaflets still hadn’t arrived, but they turned up this afternoon (phew). Now, the question is, what do I do with these leaflets – I have no idea where to put them (and had no intention of leaving the house until my pre-signing hair appointment on Friday). Are they even going to do any good at this late stage? I do hope so, as I have no other ideas for letting people know!

Well, I’m going to rest now. Have a Jane Green book to finish (usually love JG but am unimpressed with the storyline and the unnecessary/excessive swearing, including use of the dreaded C-word), and have just got a book out of the library (by Carole Matthews). Didn’t really need to go to the library as MaryAnne sent me a book called ‘Man Interrupted’ – however, the author of this wasn’t particularly nice to me on another forum, so it’s kind of putting me off reading his story. Maybe curiousity will get the better of me…

I’m starting to worry about Saturday’s signing already. What if I don’t sell many books and Borders regret inviting me – it’s hardly going to encourage other Borders stores to stock Karma. My little sister is going to start promoting the book in Sheffield, where she lives, when she returns from her hols, but I’m at a bit of a standstill now. It’s all very well getting little articles here and there (in ‘Best’ on Tuesday – wonder which photo they used from my website…) but what I really need is a review. When was the last time you read a review in a paper/magazine that wasn’t on an established author/ from a large publisher/ a celebrity? I read a book that has been defined as ‘chick lit’ and noticed that it was in the Richard & Judy Book Club list. I must say I was surprised, as it certainly wasn’t the kind of thing I would expect to see there. A few days later, I found out the author, Jane Fallon, was the long-term partner of Ricky Gervais. Now, I’m not saying that this is WHY she was included, but I bet it helped. Incidentally, I really enjoyed the book, Getting Rid of Matthew, despite wanting to dislike the main character!

In a scene reminiscent of my first book signing, I found myself having to email my publisher to say the promotional leaflets hadn’t arrived yesterday (or today, actually). I’m assuming that Mr Wilcox at Borders hasn’t received his either, and my signing doesn’t appear on the Borders website (yep, I’m officially pathetic – I’ve been checking their site every day, just in case). This is shaping up to be one of the best kept secrets in book signing history! That is, had it not been for the lovely people who responded to the email sent out this week – even if only a few of you who said you’d come actually turn up, I’ll be touched. I’m also grateful to John at Literature North East for adding my signing to the events page.

I also emailed BBC Radio Newcastle and some local press contacts that I (and DA) have dealt with, in the hope that they will mention the signing. Sometimes though, and I may have given you this link in the past, all the publicity in the world doesn’t help you. Obviously, I’d be happier if lots of people came and the book sold out, but I don’t expect miracles!

I also got my first royalty statement today. I won’t go into the gory details, but unless someone gives me a huge advance for my next book(s) – if there are any – I’m never going to be rich…or buy a big house…or a car…or a round of drinks at an expensive bar, for that matter! Although money would have been nice, its the little things that remind you why it was worth writing the book. This morning, I checked my Inbox and opened an email from a lady, called Elizabeth, who’d taken the time to contact me and tell me how much she’d liked Karma – that made me smile and, as they say in the Mastercard adverts, that’s priceless!!!

Firstly, I should make it clear that I am grateful the local press has finally taken an interest (why couldn’t it be in my book, rather than my condition) but…

I hadn’t intended to read the Chronicle article, as I wanted to avoid seeing any pictures of me, but a few people pointed out some…inaccuracies, so I thought I’d better take a look. It’s funny how you can be quoted as saying things you wouldn’t say in a million years – I believe it’s called ‘artistic licence’…but here’s the article.

Most importantly, “biographical”, my ass! I share few character traits with Paige and certainly haven’t had her experiences (thank goodness). Also, I was extremely put out by the comment regarding Gordon being the “breadwinner” throughout most of our relationship…errrr, no. I have worked whenever possible, and had a relatively ‘well’ period from late 1996 to 2002 when I worked full time (by sacrificing a social life in order to direct my energy towards work). I’m not “concentrating on my writing” – I suffer from CFS, so write as/if and when I feel able. I write to occupy my mind, not to get published. Writing is not a career for me (as much as I would love it to be) and certainly doesn’t bring in money (thank god I have Gordon as the ‘breadwinner’, eh?). And at no point did I say Gordon was a ‘Tower of Strength’!!! That caption should have probably appeared under the photo of me and my mam, rather than the one which said I was unable to work but had managed to write a book (which could be taken a number of ways…)

I should clarify the “chocolate milkshake” comment: the doctor suggested that if I drank chocolate milkshake every day, I’d have plenty of energy (nice medicine, poor result). The doctor who suggested I was feigning illness was a woman (not that it makes a difference) and made me thank my lucky stars that my current doctor is so nice, helpful and approachable!

I have only read the version on the internet, rather than the one in the newspaper (I assume that the textual errors are only on the internet version and not in the paper itself). I didn’t say this: “My book involves ME, as the lead character has recently recovered from.”

The good thing was that the story did highlight the fact that very little is known about the condition and that more needs to be done to help those suffering from it. Although I feel the story could have been written better, it was done by a trainee (according to what I was told when I rang the Chronicle and asked them TO PLEASE MENTION MY BOOK-SIGNING AT BORDERS IN THE ARTICLE) so I excuse every mis-quote, as we all have to start somewhere…

And finally…the reporter asked where copies of the book were available, but didn’t mention it. You can buy Karma at Waterstones in NEWCASTLE (Emerson Chambers – near Fenwicks/Monument), HEXHAM and DARLINGTON. Soon to be available in Borders (Gateshead) – if you can’t get to the signing, contact the store to order your signed copy. It is also available online at all major book stockists.

Well, not me, but the book. I’ve just had a reply from the Manager of Waterstones Hexham and she tells me they have sold out of their stock of Karma (for the second time)! Yay! She has ordered more.

Now don’t get too excited: this is only double figures and doesn’t even compare with the 10,000 books sold by my counterpart Claire Allan (wow!), but I think it’s fantastic! The book’s had very little publicity, few reviews and no huge marketing campaign so this means my little story is making it all on it’s own merit! I’m so pleased but I still need to work on getting the book into more bookstores, particularly locally. Unfortunately, like last time I emailed, the Metrocentre Waterstones hasn’t replied to me, and I have re-contacted WHSmith to see if I could interest their local book buyer. I have also contacted Durham Literature Festival to see if there is any opportunity for me to get involved – I don’t hold out much hope, as I think their programme is already in place for this year. But you’ve gotta try, try, try!

Oh, and I’m loving answering questions on the Book Club Forum site. It’s so interesting comparing my own experience with that of my co-featured author, Samantha Grosser.

PS I’ve been told people have had problems trying to list me as a Facebook friend – as there’s no ‘Add Friends’ thingy, just use the send me a message option and I’ll add you to my list!

Here. As of today, and throughout August, I am one of the ‘Featured Authors’ at The Book Club Forum. I hope they’re gentle with me!

You may be wondering how the photo shoot went for the Evening Chronicle yesterday. The photographer was friendly but it was very obvious that he didn’t like my dogs – unfortunately, that seemed to encourage them to jump up at him. I was surprised as they aren’t usually so boisterous. It didn’t seem to go down too well. He asked me to find some photos from childhood, so I went upstairs (taking Holly with me, as she seemed to unnerve him) and grabbed a photo album from the spare room. The spare room is my dumping ground for mess and un-ironed clothes. Why is this significant? Well, I returned downstairs, dog and photo album in hands and felt something dragging along beside me. When I looked down, there was a pair of Gordon’s boxer shorts snagged on to the beading on my jeans!!! I was SO embarrassed as I hadn’t realised what they were until I picked them up. I quickly stuffed them beside the sofa, hoping the photographer hadn’t seen them (but knowing that he probably had)! That was worthy of Paige, the heroine of Karma! I told you I intended to be brutally honest with you in this Blog – surely sharing that story proves it!

Then, he decided he wanted photos outside (arty shots), so I rang my mam to ask if she’d look after the dogs for a little while. When she arrived, he insisted on taking photos of us together as it would be on the front page (presumably of an insert and not THE front page). Mam was not happy as she had no make-up on. She will still look better than me in the pics as she is far more photogenic than I am! Then off we went to Barmoor for some ‘action shots’ of me writing and then me hanging on to an old pit wheel thingy (which is like a momument to all the mining that went on in the area – sadly, someone has gratiffied it). Unfortunately, I had to remove my sunglasses for the piccies (if you know me, you’ll know it’s rare for me to be out in even slight brightness without shades) so spent the remainder of the day out of action with a migraine! Between you and I, I’m a bit worried that this is a larger piece than I imagined. For a start, it’s going to be in either this Saturday or next…and they took an awful lot of photos. I just have my fingers crossed that the article is accurate, I don’t offend anyone and that the photographer has performed some miraculous feat and made me look…well, even average would do!

UPDATE: Just had email from one of the Newcastle Waterstones and the lady said she was going to contact the wholesalers. Surely a good sign?

Yay! I can’t believe it. On Saturday, 18th August 2007, I will be sitting in Borders at the Team Valley Trading Estate in Gateshead, hopefully signing copies of my book. Unlike last week when I was sitting in the coffee shop in Borders, eating a pain au chocolate and drinking Starbucks coffee… I’ll be there from 1pm and I really hope some people will come in and buy a copy of the book. This is the first sort-of high profile thing I’ve done, so I’m really nervous. I’m sure I’ll suffer many ‘what if no-one comes’ dreams beforehand but, for now, I’m just delighted! And I’ll finally get the chance to wear my book-signing-at-Borders-bargain-dress! If you’re local and at a loose end on that day, please come along and say hello. Please. Pretty please! Pretty please with sugar on top!!!

My publisher has nominated Karma for the Melissa Nathan Award for Comedy Romance. I don’t think I have a chance to win (given that Marian Keyes was the winner for 2007) but it’s nice to dream. If you get a chance, check out the link and read about Melissa Nathan. She was a truly inspirational woman.

…only famous people did interviews from their snuggly warm beds! Well, you’d be wrong: this morning, I got a very unexpected call from a journalist from…wait for it…The Evening Chronicle! At long last, my local newspaper (and former employer) has contacted me. Despite being in bed, with the beginnings of a rotten cold, I had a long chat about ME (not ME as in Holly, but M.E. as in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) and the book. This article has stemmed from the phone call I mentioned weeks ago from the Chief Exec of ME North East – the journalist I’d spoken to, Liz, had passed my details on to the lady who spoke to me today.

I had a mild panic attack when I was called back a little later and was asked when the photographer could come round! I surveyed my living room (which looks like it was the scene of a police search) and wondered where on earth I would find the energy to tidy up. Fortunately, he/she isn’t coming until next Tuesday, but even so, I still have my doubts that it will be sorted out by then. And the big question is this: is there enough make-up in the world to make me look better by Tuesday? I’d like to blame my cold, but the truth is I am just not photogenic at all!

To other news: I have been reluctant to check my inbox today, in case the ‘In It To Win It’ people had contacted me, as I was dreading a message to ask me to audition. Then, stupidly, I was disappointed when I checked my mail to find they hadn’t replied! I guess if I don’t hear tomorrow, I can relax -after all, the auditions are this Monday coming. It’s always nice to dream you’ll have the chance to win some money, isn’t it?

Well, I’m off to lie on the sofa with several books MaryAnne kindly sent me, a bottle of Beechams All In One cold and flu medicine, a box of tissues, a can of lucozade, a bottle of orange juice, two dogs, and the TV/Sky remote controls. Here I will stay until bedtime – am hoping to stay awake for the new series of Everybody Hates Chris and the 10pm episode of My Name Is Earl. Oh, and before I go, I’d better mention that the Evening Chronicle article should be in the paper sometime during the next few weeks – I’ll post the link when it appears online.

Fed up as I was feeling too rough to go out tonight (had meal at The Ivy planned, though not THE Ivy, and a quiz), so decided to update my Blog.

Gallery: What a picture indeed! You may remember that I have been discussing doing a Reader event with Gateshead Libraries – I happened to mention to Claire (the lady I’ve been emailing) that I represented my library in the Gateshead Libraries Blockbusters Tournament in 1987. I managed to dig out that newspaper clipping from my ‘memory box’ (an empty biscuit tin commemorating Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson’s wedding – something I won in some kind of art competition when I was little. It did have biscuits in, but they got eaten…probably very quickly). It is a very bad photo, but it was an interesting memento of the only time I ever won a trophy…even if it stayed in the Trailer Library…and was just on loan. I wonder whatever happened to it. Anyway, feel free to laugh at this photo in the Gallery. Speaking of ‘The Gallery’, did anyone used to watch ‘Take Hart’? I was pondering having an online gallery for my artwork (more appropriate to hang in The Loo, rather than Le Louvre) – the only thing that would be missing would be Morph and Tony Hart (I never liked Chas…)

Facebook: is fairly addictive. My sister has started an online Karma Appreciation group on Facebook – it has about 9 members (presumably her friends…and me, of course!) Still don’t know what I’m doing, but is quite satisfying seeing your friends’ list building up. My old school even has it’s own group…

And finally, I got a very scary email today…from ‘In It To Win It’. They are auditioning in Newcastle on Monday. I had to complete an application form – part of me is hoping I’m too boring for them to consider, but another part of me is hoping to get selected (I am far thicker than I used to be, but the audition process would be great plot-fodder). Let’s see what happens, shall we?